Quick Update

I was able to get into the Fertility Clinic on a chance cancellation on Friday. It was scheduled as a consultation, and we talked about my history and what our next steps would be. After looking over the medical records that had been sent over, she wanted to do her own ultrasound to determine what type of surgery I would need.

The fibroid is embedded in the uterine wall significantly enough that it will take more invasive surgery to remove. She said that most gynecologists could safely do this surgery, but in hopes of preserving my fertility, it would best to do a laparotomy (open the abdominal cavity) instead of of the laparoscopic procedure. I will have to stay overnight at the hospital, and be off work for a few weeks in recovery. I'm nervous, but I feel really confident in my doctor and I'm glad she'll be doing the procedure.

I struggle with the emotions of wondering if I'll ever be able to bear children. Seeing the future would sure come in handy sometimes, lol.

The stuff that's on my mind

I have "Womanly Issues". Always have, and lately it seems like I always will.

Long and short of it is: I've had problems with my monthly friend since I was probably a teenager. Those issues were kept at bay until my (ex) husband and I decided to try starting our family. When I wasn't conceiving, we found out it was at least partially due to endometriosis. So taddaa--surgery! It was a simple out-patient procedure that caused me to only miss a few days of work. The problem with these "issues" is they tend to come back. And in my case they come back with a vengeance.

I started seeing a new gyno back in June because it felt like my issues were just getting worse and worse, and every month I was in more pain than the month before. Thanks to her, I started getting some answers and headway. A ultrasound showed that I have a 3 cm Cystic Fibroid (non cancerous tumor) inside my Uterus. That's causing some of the problems, but my doctor wanted to run more tests to make sure they were fully diagnosing the problems. So I had an HSG (fancy pants kind of ultrasound) done, which determined that my left Fallopian Tube was completely blocked, and my right Fallopian Tube was partially blocked, and had some bubbles or kinks. That is usually caused by endometriosis, or scar tissue from old endometriosis.

My next step is to go to the Austin Fertility Clinic. I've been trying to set an appointment on my own but I've been having a hard time at it because I'm not trying to actively get pregnant. Apparently that's like their thing...being a fertility clinic and all.... Weird huh? But anyhow, hopefully that all comes together in the next few weeks and I can start meeting with them and finding out when they'll schedule surgery, and confirm that I don't have any pre-cancerous, cancerous, or otherwise abnormal cells related to my "issues".

This has been on mind a lot lately, because of what it could potentially mean. I'm really trying hard to not worry until I know if there's something to be worried about. I miss my family a lot right now, and just the support that comes from having loved ones close by. When I went through all this before, they were close and I was married. Life was a bit "different". It's hard for me to realize that my dreams of being a mother some day are looking rather dismal. I'm very aware that my biological clock isn't running very smoothly. It just kind of puts everything into perspective ya know?

On happier note--my weight loss/excercise activities are paying off. I've lost a total of 11 pounds with Weight Watchers so far. I need to step it up more for sure, and not let other life stuff get in the way. All in all, things really are wonderful and I feel blessed and loved :)

Dullard Nonsense

I love it what Simon says that to American Idol hopefuls. He'd most definitely say that about my blog too-unfortunately.

So--Every time I check other people's blogs, I'm reminded about the fact that I haven't updated anything of note in over a month. Probably actually longer since my last few posts have been about my trip to Utah which happened in May people.

So Here's a list of things I've been up to. In no apparent order, priority or reason. Enjoy!

1. I made my monthly bonus at work for 3 whole months in a row! Woohoo!
2. I finally took my car into the insurance adjusters-3 months AFTER the hail storm. The very same day I got my check for the damage, it hailed again. I don't think there's any spot on my car that ISN'T dinged now. Oh wells-it'll be replaced soon enough!
3. I turned 27. *Sigh*-that much closer to 40. I have to say that even though my life isn't what I ever imagined it to be by now, I'm fairly happy with it.
4. One-year anniversary of the date my divorce finalized. Weird, surreal, sad, upsetting, peaceful.
5. One-year anniversary of my first date with Shawn. Love that man so so much!
6. I bought a butt-load of Country Apple lotion from Bath and Body Works. It brings happiness to my senses and skin.
7. I finished my 3 month stint of working out with a trainer. I lost a total of 17 pounds, 8% body fat, and 15 inches overall. Not nearly as much as I should have, but I was lackadaisical with my eating habits.
8. I started Weight Watchers with my friend Janna! Well technically I'm in my first week, so this is new news. She's an awesome inspiration and has lost around 100lbs on the program! It's time to take charge!
9. I got a piano for my burp-day!!! OMG YAY! Well it's a digital piano and fits nicely into overhead compartments. But to me it doesn't matter. I love playing, and love having music more a part of my life now. I'm debating starting up piano lessons to try to re-learn and practice up the skill sets that I've lost.
10. I miss Diet Pepsi Vanilla. I can't find it anywhere anymore.
11. I registered to vote and became an organ donor.
12. I've done the laundry--a few times. Speaking of, need to do that again badly.
13. A customer called me "freakishly white". That's not very nice to say to a non-tan individual.
14. I miss good television. I've been watching entirely too much Deadliest Catch marathons, Star Trek re-runs and movies on cable. I'm excited to watch Glee and Community when they start in the fall.
15. I bought an ipod docking station and somewhat loaded the songs I wanted on it. It took me like 17 tries. I had it figured on try 16, but then I accidentally chose Zimbhaenbwebti as the default language. Whoops.

See!!! That was absolutely Dullard Nonsense! Tune in next time, where I'll be "A Complete Load of Rubbish"

As Promised--a few family pictures

Here's a few of the pictures (that i don't look like a crazy fat cow in) from our family photo shoot in May 2009. We went to Wheeler Park in the afternoon and had quite a few taken. Here's some of my faves

Dad riding a wooden horse. For anyone who knows my dad,

this one's not surprising :)
Blackham Family Kiddos
*Back L to R: Jonathan, Scott, Kyle, Thomas, Andrew
*Front L to R: Amy, Matthew
The Whole Fam Damily!
*Back L to R: Thomas, Matthew, Andrew, Amy, Scott, Jonathan, Kyle
*Front L to R: Dad, Mom

Bad sleep plus stress make Amy something something....

go crazy? don't mind if I do!! Lately I sleep for a few hours, then randomly wake up and stay away for a good 30 minutes before I can fall back asleep. I'm sure it's due to a lot of things but man it's exhausting. At least I managed to fit in a solid 2 hour nap this afternoon. :o)

Anyhow, I'm still alive just working really really hard lately. There is a lot of pressure and stress at work, and new responsibilities being added to the plate constantly. I made my quota for April and hopefully made it for May as well (but might have had a loan book a few days too late). Time will tell. It feels good getting a bonus and, if only for a short while, keeping my name off the naughty list.

Later Gator!