Feel the Burn!

I've officially had 2 workouts! Well, it was supposed to be 3 (Mon/Tues/Thurs) but I forgot my gym shoes yesterday and couldn't go. Ty is supposed to call me today to see if there's any way he can squeeze me in today. Monday was pretty easy. I felt it the next day, but not NEARLY the way I did after Tuesday's workout. O.M.G!!! Man, he wasn't joking when he said he'd make me cry, lol. It's a good cry though--and the one that makes me fell motivated and energetic.

I've been doing better with my eating too. Not perfect by any means, but I've been recording everything I put in my mouth so I'm more accountable. I'm naturally lazy, so adjusting to planning and preparation with my meals is an adjustment. When I get home from work, usually I just wanna sit on my butt and unwind; Now it's showering after the gym, and planning a healthy meal. My next day at work goes much better too if I pack my breakfast/lunch the next day. So far so good!

I'm most nervous about the weekend though. I usually sleep in, and don't really eat until I have that "omg i'm starving" realization. I need to combat that better!!

I'm scared...

...because I'm doing something I've never done before. Anytime I've ever decided to get my eating habits/weight in check, I do it on my own. Well yesterday I signed up for a gym membership with a personal trainer/nutritionist. I go in for my first "meeting" tomorrow evening and frankly I'm really scared. I'm scared because it's going to be fairly expensive. Manageable, but not if I continue to spend money the way that I have been. I spend entirely too much on silly stuff and going out to eat, which will have to change. I'm also scared because I've never had to work hard. I'm chronically uncoordinated, clumsy, and out of shape so falling on my face in public is a real fear.

I'll start out meeting with him 2x a week, and depending on what he says also working out on my own. He'll help me plan healthy meals and snacks, so I can really make this an all-around change. I've said I need to "do something about it" for too long, and tomorrow turns into next week, month, and year. Even though I am a ripe old 26 yr old woman, I want to feel better and healthier and more motivated. So here goes!!

Whats up?

Hey, how've you been? I've contemplating blogging, but with nothing really to blog besides boring dum stuff, I have decided not to. Until now. I feel left out of the blogging world, and peer pressure encourages me to reconnect. Here's a few recent tidbits from my side of the fence.

*I got a new cell phone. I hated my other one because it would randomly power off mid-conversation/text/IM. I decided to be a semi responsible adult and NOT buy the most expensive one. I got the Blackberry curve and I must admit that I <3>

*I feel pretty organized. I gave a lot of stuff away to the Salvation Army, and trashed a lot of stuff recently. Even though I still have things to sort through, the amount of "stuff I don't really want" has significantly diminished.

*I tried the new Sobe Life Water zero calorie and I really like it. Not as much as water, but it's a refreshing no-guilt change.

*Bailey is doing better in general. Potty training is almost perfect (few accidents in the house) but for the most part when he's taken outside Shawn and I can just sit on the porch and let him do his thing. Also, for the last week instead of being kept in his kennel, he's been allowed to roam free. So far no crazy destruction but we'll see.

*I'm super sleepy. I'm in one of those can't-shut-my-mind-off rutts where I have a hard time falling to sleep at night and seem to want an afternoon/evening nap every day. For those of you wondering, yes that perpetuates the sleeping issues.

*I'm still quite a work-a-holic. I'd much rather have this than the few month span where I was like Ms. Emo and couldn't get up the desire to work. I still feel the crazy pressure about how I'm going to meet all my sales quotas, but being at my new branch actually helps me have a hope to achieve some of that. So yay.

*I still have 3 really important things to do that I've been horribly procrastinating. 1) Roll over my 401k from my last employer in Utah before there's REALLY nothing left to it. 2) Print out shipping labels and return about $225 worth of clothes I bought online from Old Navy. I'd like my money back but it's my own fault I suppose. 3) Send in my cell phone rebate so I can again, get my money back. I failed to do so when I bought my last phone and still miss the $50 that was being dangled in front of my face.

*I'm still not really any better at preparing and cooking meals. I love having most of my recipes in one place, but so many stupid things get in my way when I'm getting home from work. Grrr, I need to do better.

*I'm going to Utah for a visit in only 9 weeks! I haven't been home since last June for a 52 hour "visit". My brother Jonathan will be home from a mission so it'll be the first time we've all been together for 2 years. I can't wait to see some of my great friends and family members and relax (we'll see).

(warning:long winded emo drudgery)

Has anything really happened since February 11th? Valentines Day kinda came and went. I had a really nice, relaxing day with Shawn and Bailey. He got me a gorgeous flower arrangement and such a sweet card. I've never been much for the holiday. I strongly dislike--alright HATE--going out and battling with 8,700 other romantically inclined couples for concert events and fancy dinner reservations. I'd much rather stay in on Valentines Day, spend some good quality time together and do out "going out" on a different, less hectic day. That's exactly what we did! I fixed a tasty meal and we relaxed together basking in romantic happiness. It sure beats Valentines Day 2008!

Last year by now I knew that my ex-husband was "on the fence" about whether or not he was still in love with me. After begging him to give us a second chance, we then lived like strangers in the same house on pins and needles for about another month. The amount of "change" that would have needed to take place for us to have a fighting chance was absolutely not there. When one person is checked out and has emotionally and romantically moved on, that's that. It still surprises me how slowly yet quickly everything unraveled and how matter-of-factly I began picking up the pieces.

There are so many people who helped me during these hard times. My family accepted and loved me, even though divorce to them seemed at the time a harsh overzealous action. I know I was being watched out for and find it no coincidence that their visit to Texas fell the week of my ex's official "move-out". I've said goodbye to my parents countless times, but I have NEVER cried as hard as I did when I had to drop them back off at the airport. It felt like my world was crumbling and that I didn't belong to anyone. I had so many friends and family members who let me cry on their shoulders long-distance and showed patience and love while I fell apart to them. The more I talked through it, the less I felt like it was the end of my world. The advice I was given, and the loving reassurance really grounded me. Thank you, I hope you know who you all are. I'm pretty rotten at keeping up my side of friendships, but I love and appreciate you guys all so much.

Rejectamundo

*disclaimer-yes, I realize my addiction to facebook holds no bounds, and no I haven't sought professional help yet.*

Now that I've clarified that, it's on to the juicy details. I'm one of those facebookers who started out timid and grew to a new level of bravery. It used to be that I wouldn't try to "friend" someone, unless I knew that he/she/it would 100% know me, my family, and my entire life story. Based on some of the friend requests I started getting, I decided to be more liberal whilst stalking for online friends. When I get a friend request I check a few things--friends in common, and info on their profile that may give clues to how I know this person or not. If we have any common denominators, friendship is born.

The other night I was wasting away my youth browsing status' and friends of friends online when I saw a guy that I haven't talked to since High School. Let's call this guy Bernie Norm. I proceeded to go through my internal checklist. Recognizable picture? Check. Recognizable name? Check. Similar friends? Check. Common schools listed? Check. Alright--request friendship. A few hours later when I was browsing again, I noticed I had a facebook email from this dude. He said "Hi, I don't believe I know you?" Stuff like this will happen every now and then. If I'm 100% that the person and I have a legit connection, I'll write them back with details. If not, I just let it go. With this Bernie Norm guy I wrote back "yah hi, we went to such and such highschool together. you and I were in Orchestra together, you played the cello I played the violin and we used to do quartets together. You dated so and so too, who was one of my good friends. Hope you've been doing well, it's been a while huh!" Pretty informative don't you think?? He wrote back "Yah, all that is right but I don't think I remember you well enough to be your facebook friend."

Rejectamundo my friends!! He totally shouldn't have said anything. It would have been merciful to just deny my request and let the friendship request fade into oblivion. Now I'm faced with humiliation, self-esteem issues, and the realization that I'm un-memorable. Sigh....